Understanding Love

Why should we become addicted to another person?

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to – alcohol, food, drugs, or a person – you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain. That is why, after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships. They do not cause pain and unhappiness. They
bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.

On the positive side, you are “ln Love” with your partner. This is at first a deeply satisfying state. You feel intensely alive. Your existence has suddenly become meaningful
because someone needs you, wants you, and makes you feel special, and you do the same for him or her. When you are together, you feel whole. This feeling can become so intense that the rest of the world fades into insignificance.

However, you may also have noticed that there is a neediness and a clinging quality to that intensity. You become addicted to the other person. He or she acts on you like a drug. You are on a high when the drug is available, but even the possibility or the thought that he or she might no longer be there for you can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, blaming and accusing in the fear of loss. If the other person does leave you, this can give rise to the most intense hostility or the most profound grief and despair. In an instant, loving tenderness can turn into a savage attack or dreadful grief.

Where is the love now? Can love change into its opposite in an instant? Was it love in the first place, or just an addictive grasping and clinging

The reason why the romantic love relationship is such an intense and universally sought-after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated state of fear, need, lack, and incompleteness that is part of the human condition in its unredeemed and unenlightened state. There is a physical as well as a psychological dimension to this state.

On the physical level, you are obviously not whole, nor will you ever be: You are either a man or a woman, which is to say, one-half of the whole. On this level, the longing for wholeness manifests as male female attraction, man’s need for a woman, woman’s need for a man. It is an almost irresistible urge for union with the opposite energy polarity. The root of this physical urge is a spiritual one: the longing for an end to duality, a return to the state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer.

But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss. As long as it is unconsciously sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of
duality on the level of form, where it cannot be found. You are given a tantalizing glimpse of heaven, but you are not allowed to dwell there, and find yourself again in a separate
body.

On the psychological level, the sense of lack and incompleteness is, if anything, even greater than on the
physical level. As long as you are identified with the mind, you have an externally derived sense of self. That is to say, you get your sense of who you are from things that ultimately have nothing to do with who you are: your social role, possessions, external appearance, successes and failures, belief systems, and so on. This false, mind-made self, the ego, feels vulnerable, insecure, and is always seeking new things to identify with to give it a feeling that it exists. But nothing is ever enough to give it lasting fulfillment. Its fear remains; its sense of lack and neediness remains.
But then that special relationship comes along. It seems to be the answer to all the ego’s problems and to meet all its needs. At least this is how it appears at first. All the other
things that you derived your sense of self from before, now become relatively insignificant.

You now have a single focal point that replaces them all, gives meaning to your life, and through which you define your identity: the person you are “In Love” with. You are no longer a disconnected fragment in an uncaring universe, or so it seems. Your world now has a center: the loved one.

The fact that the center is outside you and that, therefore, you still have an externally derived sense of self does not seem to matter at first. What matters is that the underlying feelings of incompleteness, of fear, lack and unfulfillment so characteristic of the egoic state are no longer there or are they? Have they dissolved, or do they continue to exist underneath the happy surface reality?

If in your relationships you experience both “love” and the opposite of love. Then it is likely that you are confusing ego attachment and addictive clinging with love. You cannot love your partner one moment and attack him or her the next. True love has no opposite. If your “love” has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets. It is the ego’s substitute for salvation, and for a short time it almost does feel like salvation.

You are a human mind again, pretending to be a human being, interacting with another mind, playing Love..

The Power of Now Journel

Eckhart Tolle

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’96

She hide my sky in her eyes. She seemed like a friend, sometimes more than a friend until I thought about the pain if something went wrong.

Stay. Was all I really wanted to say…

She walks in beauty as night
All the best for the dark and bright
Meet her in the aspect of her eyes.

Copyright@2018Nagstrong12

All Rights Reserved.

Miranda #4

“I miss her. Mostly I miss my broken heart. Everyday, It’s another morning, sun came out, it’s the usual, no sweet words, no kisses. I won’t know.. what she is going through now. I guess.. I never know!

I stop looking for her in other girls, i can promise you it will never happen again. Still… I… I..” With the wetness on my cheeks i can touch my pain.

“Have you ever cried?” I smiled at her.

“I find good witches and bad witches. But’ I must confess most of the witches i have ever loved were respectable, indeed, kind with their actions. I almost cried.. because of them, but then only i remember how expensive my mascara is!!” She show me how sincere and careful one could be with her words.

Then she started singing a hunting song, tunelessly. And I’m about to sink in to each letters of her…

We were all

So damn lost

So damn blind

All looking for meaning

They will never never find.

I know, a young girl

In a small town

All she think about is

To get on a plane

Out of this hell.

How many times…

You sad and still smiled.

How many times…

You toil to feel the cold rain.

How many times…

You couldn’t look to a eye.

How many times…

You hated goodbyes

How many times…

You were dead.

How many times…

If you could do it again

I would gladly make

My same choices again.

And if I did, would

You still have left?

No regrets?

I stood as still as statue

Stared through the window

Thousand stars sinking

Eyes glowing in moonlight.

I whisper…

How could you gone;

When I needed you most.

Feel your love.. a love –

Stronger than time.

I feel like mis-alligned all my answers, and noticed when she got that last question for me. “Are you hoping?” She said. It is unanswerable. Answer is inside, reflected in the silence.

She laugh out loud. She laugh out again. Hugged me tightly. She then kissed on my chest.

“Hey dooli, Your redneck Airbus… This is his car shop” She pointed a car shed right behind me.

“Mm” I rumbled.

She pushed me in to the shed with all her muscle power and started walking. Not even a goodbye!

“I’m going back today” I never said. May be she never cares.

I wouldn’t wait for her to off my site. I walked in to the shed, never turned back. Somehow she cultivated a bohemian me.

I saw a girl. The way she moved, changed the way I see the world.

Miranda

© 2018 Nagstrong12

All Rights Reserved

[all the images are taken from pinterest.com]

bohemian

However i was like choose not to met with people, prefer to have a freedom of physical distance. It’s not that people are very oppressive. I usually not make friends. More often than not I’m adopted by another extrovert friend…

I am grateful for them, and for their feeling of being connected with me. My gratitude is nothing spiritual, spiritually my mind is a dump. Putting me in someone’s focal point and disappointed of being not focussed is damn thing. Ugly.

I find there is much joy in dim-light-darkness, my mental to-do lead me to the morbific thoughts in black and white existence. Yeah… Once i led myself to some of the deepest and most consuming feeling of happiness..

“She hold my hand, take me to the garden, we smiled listen to the birds, she always hugged me, i always told her my love”

Things never be the same again. Somehow I have able to taking all the pieces with me and no matter why i carry them. Bohemian?

I make no memories

Life is a long story about how you died. My story has started already.

I born. Then came to do all the hard work here on the earth to make thousands of memories. Die one day.

The weird thing is that i hate all this labour toil under the hot sun. The sun has burned my skin. I am so dark. Unlovable… Mine is a life in the life of the hailstones of the hailstones. All the thousand memories seems so empty. Blossom beyond blossoming i saw no flower, no spring..

Some souls never saved in memory. They are to be remembered everyday. They are loved and admired everyday. May i held on; hug you tightly and not let you go. But’ turn your eyes away. Just overcome me. Do not stare at me, i am so dark. Unlovable..

She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes
– Lord Byron

Anbe Shivamagum

For obvious reasons it is no wonder the planet and it’s people are written in pain. You’re one of those people, who believe in some fictional friend in the heaven and his invisible advocates.

Suffering has human form on earth. Suffering is seen as a part of living until we reach moksha.

Aham is the supreme i awareness!

Shivam is liberation!!

Shivam is patron of death and destruction. Truly nothing is destructed, but reincarnation of the state of mind. Between the end of one thought and beginning of other, Shivam exist as a female silence. Shivam embodies her existence.

She is Shivam. She can’t condemn me; supreme Shiva doesn’t believe in heaven or a hell to put me in. In her elegance, my life shine with pure calmness. In her devotion, I reach moksha..

Shivam is love…

Anbe Shivamagum..

Rastafarian

I drink water. I get sunlight. I am just a herb with complex emotions..

Gloomed dreadlocks. Soot of cannabis. My kind of war-everywhere philosophy. But everything is not fine. I choose to smoke the weed simply because it is black man’s faith. I do respect my body and what it is.

God, the cause of all, is one. I saw my god in red-yellow-green stain. The symbol of martyrdom of past rastafari

Africa… my version of Zion. She is my paradise on the earth. I still remember her in a essay of poignant smile. One day i return to her, holding our emotional warmth that they take away from us.

The corrupt Babylonian system down pressed her. Colonialism separated us. One great love is killed diplomatically. Life being a total fear fest choreographed completely in a downward Oscar slavery.

One day everything will be fine. One day she is going to have so much of self love and i never settle her for anything less than what she deserves. I’m a crying cub. Rastafarian!!

Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility

– Denice Frohman

My Obnoxious Calmness

Life happen without warning, without rhyme or reason. We all lock on to people. Some… dearest.

In a less beautiful and meaningful vein, she reminds me our love. Hair touching and those compliments. Those days we had was zero gravity.

Sometimes.. you need a cup of solitude just to take a breathe, just to take a nap or to read a good thought. We find same love. Then we use our devotion to fuel the sick mind-games. But still we both, candid.

We are unseen, yet connected by same melting sky. We still share same rain, we have cried over the same book. I simply watch my world destroyed and created and destroyed again!

I want to know when you last cried? and why? I want to know what drives you now? I want know why you chose to kiss me out of seven billion people in the planet?, I never asked. In the end i can only smile at nothing..

In a world of much love-less labour, I find myself as most unlovable!